One of my Teaching Spirit Guides called Clare 

Open your window to the world of life after death.

First Edition published in 1999. © Copyright  1999 Terence M. Hamilton-Morris. All rights reserved. No part of this page may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without the permission in writing from the publisher.

I was born a female in the country that is called Ireland and we lived on a farm, just a small farm that could just support the family with just enough over to sell at our local market and what we sold brought a few extras that we would not have been able to have. The life on the farm was hard, very hard with no luxuries at all, but we were a relatively happy family. There was my father, my mother, my older brother, myself and my younger brother. I was not a pretty girl and I would say not at all pretty, but my father used to call me his little swan. He always said that as I got older I would be a beauty to behold. Ah, only the Irish can talk such nonsense, but it was still nice to hear anyway.

I had very few friends because we lived on a small farm which was away from most others and could only meet neighbors on market days once a week. For me and my brother, this was a day of excitement and for my parents, let us say a business day and a day to catch up on all the gossip as my mother would say, for my father, a chance to have a drink with the men of the neighborhood. Ah, what chance do you have, I believe that men and women are as bad as each other with the gossip. Yes market day was the highlight of our lives, always a grand day, even if the weather changed from sun to rain, children are children and they just enjoy and yes little children are a joy to behold to be sure.

Parents kept a good eye on the young females of their family no matter what their age. In my day there was no freedom for the girls, but the boys, well that was different and it has always been that way. Women and girls always did the female thing, cooking, housework, childbearing and farm work as well, when we were needed, but always the pleasuring of the male. I do not apologize for that last comment, it may offend you but it was always that way in those days when I was last alive. In your day now at least you have a choice, you can even say yes or no. In my day it was easier and safer to say yes to what ever was wanted by the family.

I was the ugly duckling in the family but I always had my heart in the right place. My father was stern because he had to be, as in those harsh days it was not easy to survive, but father always favored me when he could. He spoilt me but never in front of my older or younger brother because they were the males of the family. In my day the female was chastised and never spoilt.

As a very young girl I spent what time I had to myself because I loved so much the nature of things that surrounded me. I always admired what nature had created and would you believe, oh yes, I loved the storms; I loved what nature could create at a whim of the moment, but yes the rains and the thunder I never feared for one moment as they were the excitement in my little life. I was always in adoration of such power where nature was concerned. The winds and the rain could if they wanted, create so much fear in people. To me it was an awesome spectacle to watch. The power of such a thing as a storm was like a god. Oh, I’m rambling on again and I shouldn’t, but it is so exciting to be able to talk like this. I am in wonderment of the technology at your disposal. It certainly makes it easier for us on my side of life to converse with you all.

As I grew, I had to shoulder more responsibility as my mother was not a strong woman and quite often sick. My father cared for my mother because he loved her, but my father used to get quite annoyed with her, but never in front of her when she was sick because she never looked after herself. She was strict with us children as any good mother would be and between mother and myself the house was as clean as a new pin. The food was always good wholesome food, but for some reason she never seemed to respect herself and that I could never understand.

She often talked about dying and it was like she had a death wish. Yes she was often sick, mainly with women’s problems, problems that doctors in my day could not understand like they do in your day and age. Ah to be sure there are times when I think that I would have enjoyed such freedom that you people have and with the abundance of food and luxuries that you now possess. Chatterbox that I am, I have again come away from what this talk is all about.

My mother suffered greatly but it wasn’t until I was older that I started to understand, but as a young girl, I just never understood her health problems, all that I did know was that it affected my parents a great deal, but again at the time I was too young to understand.

Yes, I had a hard upbringing as most young children had in my day, but in a lot of ways I was happy as a child. I did have a little time for myself which I immersed in the nature of things. I think that I have said that wrong. I loved watching nature, I surrounded myself with nature, and to me nature was a wondrous thing. Nature created and nature destroyed at a whim. When I was a little older I always used to think that nature was a female on where she lived.

We always had our little family outings which were very private affairs, like what you may call as a picnic. Mother and I spent a lot of time preparing the food and making sure that the males of the family would be pleased with what we had created with our cooking skills. In my day it was a compliment when someone belched after they had eaten and our small but loving family ALWAYS gave my mother and myself the compliment. You in your day may not understand that compliment but I know that after you have eaten good food, yes you secretly belch, but you never do that if the food was not too your liking.

Then one day my mother announced that she was with child again and this would make the fourth child, but that was not to be. During my mother’s pregnancy she was a very, very happy woman and it was such a pleasure to see the warmth of her love completely surrounding our little house. We all were so happy especially my father because he loved her so much. To see his wife as happy as she was brought so much joy into his life and I was happy for him. For us, the children of our parents, to see them happy was like a gift from god, it was so beautiful that I wished that one day when I married that I would also experience such a thing.

What I never realized was that deep down inside, my mother had this death wish, she just wanted to die and she knew that this pregnancy would take her life. I am not saying that she did not love her family, no, no, no, not at all, I can assure you all, that her family was her life, but it was the pain in her life that unbenoweth to us at the time was all consuming, but she kept it well hidden from us. She was a good mother as she never used her pain to seek favoritism. She suffered her pain with the quietness of her mind.

On the day of giving birth was not a normal birthing day for her, even we her family knew that. We, her family were not allowed to be witness to the birth as only the women who understood such things were there to assist. The pain that she went through with the birthing of her new born was loud and horrifying to us all as we sat in the other room. We could do nothing but pray and pray we did. That night, that terrible cold winter night my father lost his beloved wife and we his children lost our wonderful mother and also the child which was another son for my father.

My father was inconsolable, his grief was shall I say self destroying; yes it was shocking to behold. He was my father and I loved him as a daughter would always love their father and I was distraught to see him in this way. He cried, unashamedly he cried for the one that he loved so much that had departed. Yes he cried like a man would never cry in front of another. He cried where we his children could not see, but we heard. My heart, my life went out to him and I wanted to console him because I was now a woman and I understood these things. Young, yes I was but in my day we understood the harshness of life because we believed that god gives life and god takes life away. Yes, that was our way of life.

I, his daughter wanted to replace what he my father had lost, but I never realized at the time what he had lost. No, not in my wildest dreams, I just did not know, but yes I wanted to replace it. I thought I will become a mother to the family as I was the only female left in the family. At the tender age of sixteen I became the mother of my mother’s family.

My father respected the position that I now took within his household. He respected me and my brothers, his sons had to do the same, although with great difficulty at times as you can well understand. I was now the mistress of my father’s household. I ruled under my father as his word came first, my word came second to his.

This period of my life was very, very hard because there was much to be learned by all within the family. There was a sudden change, a complete change where the mother of the family was concerned. It was I that had become the mother to my family. I controlled as only a female can control after the male has spoken. My father, the male was supreme, but he always listened to my opinions because I was replacing what he had lost in my mother. As time went on my father was far more dependent on me than I ever thought at the time. I never realized the implications of my decisions or actions. For my father, I had started to become what he had lost when my mother had died.

It is this that you have to understand, it is this that you must understand before I will take this talk any further. Himself, Terence wants to stop this talk, but it is we on Spirit side that is insisting that this talk carries on. So with the permission of himself, I will carry on. I did what I had to do, there was no other choice as my father was slowly destroying himself with the grief over the loss of his wife. You have to understand such a grief; you have to experience such a grief because there was so much love between the both.

I did what I did because I loved my father and for no other reason. You have to understand that I respected my father in every way and as a father I loved him as all daughters do when they love their father. What would a loving daughter do when their father takes such a terrible loss? Sometimes, there is what you may consider a terrible sacrifice.

It took quite a long while before my father made a move towards me as a woman. He, my father was without a woman and I realized that he was looking at me as his woman. It was then that I had to make such a terrible decision. I was brought up in the Irish way, the catholic way, the religious way, but my father needed me, yes, I realized that my father needed me as a women.

You have to understand that I loved my father, I needed my father. In my day it was the woman of the house that kept the family together. It was she, the woman that done everything where the comforts of the home were concerned. No matter what you read where the past is concerned it was the woman that controlled the home. Yes the male had the authority and that is the difference, it was he, the male that left most decisions to the woman of the house. It was the male that was the provider and it was the woman that rearranged what the male had provided for the good of the family.

I kept my father at arms length if that makes any sense, but he yearned for me as a woman and I loved him as a daughter would. He missed my mother and he cried for my mother. It was I that experienced those tears of grief, those tears of regret and yes those tears of a love that he could never get back. For me a man that cries is a terrible thing, it is a shocking thing because a male is not an emotional creature, well not in the same way as a woman.

When my mother died my father became an emotional wreck and for a long period of time I was able to keep him away where a woman’s body was concerned. He was my father and yes, he respected me as his daughter, but I was the woman of his household. It was there that the change came in. Yes I saw it happening, it was gradual, the change was slow but my love for him deepened. The daughter and father relationship was changing to a male and female relationship. It is not hard to explain because it was a gradual thing. It started as a father and daughter relationship and gradually, so slowly it became a respect thing between two human beings, then the love of two human beings came in, it is that, that cannot be explained because love has no borders, no boundaries in any way. I make no excuses, why should I because you have to experience before you can give an opinion.

We both knew, my father and I that a decision regarding, shall I say our relationship had to be considered and to be quite honest with you all the decision was not of a great deal of a problem. We were coming closer and closer together. I loved him; he was the provider of the family. I respected his decisions as he respected mine and we both believed in each other.

I want you to imagine, I would like you to, yes I want you to walk through this with me, I want you now to experience what I went through. I want you to understand. My life belonged to my father. In my day that was what it was and yes I loved him as a daughter will always love their father. Then came the day when the father and daughter relationship changed. It happened and I was expecting it. He tried so hard to change it, but he could not. I knew but never challenged it, perhaps I should have done but I never did. But tell me, how can you challenge something when you have no control. The emotions were high, I suppose far too high. When the togetherness happened, I have no regret, no none whatsoever. I loved my father as a good daughter will and I eventually loved him as my man.

For a few years I began to think that I was barren and although I wanted his child I had the sense to know that giving birth to his child may cause me or the baby problems. Then at the young age of twenty years I became with child and throughout my time, the carrying of the child did not appear to give me many problems until the day before the birth when I experienced the most terrible of pains. There was no doctor that we could call upon, but my father brought into our home the midwife from another village. She knew of our relationship because she understood as she had seen it so many times before. I will not go into any more details because I do not like to talk about it as it can upset me greatly. If that were to happen then Terence will instantly pick that emotion up and because of the way that he is, it will upset him knowing that I am upset and I do not want that for himself. All I will say is this that the stress of the birth took away from my beloved father, again, his new born son and his woman.

In my day it was not terribly unusual for incest to rise up in a family as it was not unusual for women to die in child birth; also it was not unusual for mothers to be with their sons if the husband was not around anymore. This was part of a very hard life. Even in your day, in your land this sort of thing is not unusual; it’s just that you do not hear about it. If you do not like what has been said here then I would suggest that you grow up, because incest is not at all un-common in your country and your day and age.

You also have to understand that in the first instant it may have not been consensual. Also there are very many factors that have to be taken into consideration before you can even consider giving an opinion and it is these factors that you must understand. Your man-made religions have said that incest must not happen and your governments do what they are told by the leaders of those religions, but I have to laugh; your religious teachers do not even follow their own rules and regulations. Let us be quite honest where this subject is concerned, if for instance that Adam and Eve did exist how do you populate if you cannot copulate with another and that is simple mathematics. Where all your man-made religions are concerned incest had to start it all off.

How can you explain such a thing because you cannot as you have to experience it? Please do not think wrong of me for what happened in my life as there were circumstances sitting there that I for one could not control. I know that my father fought as only a good man can fight against such things, but I was a young healthy woman and he was a good man that needed to be loved in the ways that men need. In the villages around there was no other that interested him because he compared all others to his dearly departed wife, as she was someone very special to him. I was my mothers only daughter and I had very many of her characteristics. I can assure you that when this sort of thing starts to grow, it is like stopping an earthquake or an erupting volcano.

How can you know about something that you may have never experienced. I did not ask for this experience, but it happened in my short life. I did not ask for it and I did not expect it and I never planned for it, it just happened. Do I regret what happened, well the answer to that is NO, I never have. For my short life of twenty years, my father and I have had some happiness and also some very many beautiful tender moments.

But I would like you to take something else into consideration, the word of love has no boundaries whatsoever, no limitations in anyway whatsoever. Love starts with an attraction and the closeness of two people, whether they are of different races or colour, whether they are of different religious attitudes, whether one is married and the other is not, whether it is father and daughter, mother and son or even brother and sister, love has no barriers in any way. It is your religious institutions that have created the barriers where love is concerned so that they can instigate rules and in that way they have power over you.

I am not saying that incest is right, no definitely not, no not in any way am I condoning such a thing. But I would like to add this to the talk. I am now in the world of Spirit and I have been for a very long time, but this I have to say, when I arrived here on the moment after the moment of the human death, I was welcomed with great love from the world of Spirit and also my wonderful mother. I have never been condemned by any Spirit where my past life was concerned, no never. I have not had to pay penance. I did not go to hell because there is no such place, but I never did anyone any harm in my last life either. I died the human death and came home to, for me, paradise.

To the one’s who have no idea of this experience then I ask this of you, please do not condemn the ones that do go through this experience of what I have explained. It is life, it may be your life and yes, you can alter such a life in this your day and age. There are times when I wish that I lived a life in your day.

But this I must say where himself, Terence is concerned, ah, what a lovely man to have such attitudes as he has because he has the freedom of attitudes. He knows the truth of Spirit because since a young child he has never believed in the restrictions of life and I know because I have been with him since a young child. I have watched him grow as he has searched for the truth and now he knows the truth of life especially where Spirit life is concerned. He knows why and he understands the reasoning of my life. His attitude is this and I do like what he says and I will quote him on this, “whatever two people do together, as long as it does not harm another, then it is their own business”. Can you ask for anything more. Just be careful of the skeletons that can come out of the proverbial cupboard.

Yes, I am Clare, a deep and devoted Spirit of Terence. I would also like to thank his other Spirit guides for their patience with me, but they realized what has been said here had to be said and it has taken quite a while and I thank them for their patience.

End

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